Date: 17-Jan
HE:
Today when I got into the bus and looked at her, she returned back a cute smile. Was she serious? I don’t know; probably she must have told her friends about me and they must have been making fun of me and that’s why when I got into the bus she started laughing and I
misunderstood it for smiling. Such a fool of me. Damn, her friends must be having fun discussing things about me.
SHE:
Today when he got into the bus, I smiled at him. But he seemed to be more puzzled than pleased. Is he really interested in having friendship with me or not? I really don’t know.
Why am I thinking so much about him? Have I started liking him? Or is it just like you just get used to some things as a habit, and then you unknowingly start liking them? I think it’s the
latter case here. Please god please let that guy be a descent one. My sixth sense says he is a descent guy. I think he must have got puzzled because of the smile I gave him. It wasn’t my fault,
for I showed him that I am interested in friendship. Now the ball lies in his court. Will he dare first to talk?
Date: 18-Jan
HE:
I am damn confused. I don’t know what to do. Every day everyone around me is bombarding me with some tactics to approach her but nothing seems to suit me well. My roommates even started taunting me that I can’t have a girlfriend or at least the guts to approach the gal. I am leaving it now on luck. I will just continue whatever is going on; let the luck take us wherever and however intended.
Date: 25-Jan
HE:
Nothing unusual or special happened in the last few days. However, today I thought something interesting might happen. The bus was about to start the back-home journey today when she and one of her friends got into the bus. They were searching for a place to sit. I was alone on a seat of three. I was thrilled that she would sit on the same seat beside me. But she just came, momentarily paused at the seat, turned to her friend and just went past; to sit on the last seat. I couldn’t see the expressions on her face clearly but what I saw was a face filled up with hate or some similar feeling that clearly showed expression such as whatever might happen, I am not going to sit beside this *****. It was really heartbreaking. It
was the biggest insult I had suffered till now. Am I so hopeless?
Date: 26-Jan
HE:
Today, there was public holiday so I got lot of time to think and analyze the situation. What was my fault? I haven’t done anything wrong. I didn’t ever talk to her, I never tried to flirt, I never gossiped about her except for my close friends. I am even sure that none of my co-travelers in the bus know that I like her. Whenever I stare at her I take necessary precaution as not to be too obvious. I don’t want to embarrass her in any way. When I am trying my best for this, then why did she have such cruel expressions on the face?
I think either she knows now that I like her and stare at her and she doesn’t want to encourage me or simply, she just hates me for no reason, just like many of my classmates who hate me for no reason.
I don’t know what to do now, but either ways I think she just doesn’t want me to be anywhere around her. She just hates me. Just one more failure. Does it hurt? Yes it does, but I am very much used to it. I’ll try my best not to look at her. I don’t want to do anything that she doesn’t like. I will try to forget her as if she was just one more dream in my life which simply didn’t come true. Probably, I don’t deserve to be with her. This is fate afterall. I will have to obey it.
SHE:
Today was a holiday. So I couldn’t see him, although I wanted to. I actually wanted to apologize for whatever happened yesterday. I got into the bus and searched for the seat. He was sitting alone on the seat for 3, it was a good chance for me to sit with him and have a word or two. I was just thrilled. I was about to sit on the same seat when Kruti said something. I didn’t hear it properly so I turned to her. She said, ”See, Raghav is there, he has reserved
seats for us.” I just hate that Raghav, he is always ready to flirt provided the other person is a girl. Whenever I see him, somehow I try my best to be as away from him as I can, I even show
hatred to him directly on my face but this guy simply ignores this. I don’t know why Kruti likes him so much.
So the point is I went to the seat that Raghav had reserved specially for us. I felt really bad for Niru, but if I would have denied Raghav’s offer and would have sat on Niru’s seat; it
would have just been too obvious. He must have felt embarrassed. Poor guy.
Date: 27-Jan
SHE:
Today he seemed to have lost in thoughts. When he got into the bus, surprisingly he didn’t search for me. He even didn’t look up. He just went straight to the last seat and started reading a novel. I tried looking at him once or twice but he didn’t lift his head at all. I think he is hurt, I am feeling sorry, but what can I do? When we got down at the office gate, I purposefully lingered a bit more at the gates to give back him a smile, but I couldn’t spot him in the crowd.
Niru, I am sorry, please be normal again.
Date: 28-Jan
SHE:
Today I saw him in the food court. He was there with two girls and was chatting, laughing, cracking jokes. He seemed to enjoy the company. Is he also a typical boy who just wants to have as many girls around him as possible? Is he a typical flirt? Does he want me also to get included in that group for showcasing?
Probably the two girls were just good friends of him. At least I hope so. Please god please let those be his sisters or just friends, nothing else.
Date: 3-Feb
HE:
Since that evening thing has happened, I have left staring at her. I don’t know but some inner voice is telling me to keep away. I am not a street walking beggar to be treated like this. She might consider herself whatever she might think of. She is beautiful, indeed, but
that doesn’t mean she can insult me like that. I have sward not to look at her again anymore and just to avoid her looks.
But I can’t stay like this. I just like her and want to be with her. She has committed a mistake, but wasn’t that a bit natural. She doesn’t like me and doesn’t want to encourage my feelings about her. Simple isn’t it? That’s it. A complete halt for my feelings and my dreams, but I don’t think I can manage not to have even a look at her. Will I be able to do it?
There is some saying, ‘Oh god, change the situations around me to favor me. At least give me the strength to change it. If I can’t change it, at least give me the strength to bear it.’ Oh God, please listen to me.
GOD:
You don’t remember me when you are happy or contempt do you? When there is a problem or a really difficult situation, then you start remembering me or praising me don’t you? I still won’t interfere here. My world is a complex entity with each and every thing or event properly planned for some specific future as well as past reason. Why should I interfere and break the balance of all these systems myself?
Date: 14-Feb
HE:
By the time I am writing this, Valentine’s Day is already over. It doesn’t matter anyways, since nothing unusual has happened today. The day had been very much like other 365 days in the year or probably last 21 valentine’s days in my life. I was hoping that I at least get to catch her glimpse but fate didn’t seem to favor me even this much. Due to this night shift, I am even deprived of her glimpses. Today, I even lingered a bit at the gates at the usual
bus timing to watch her, but she didn’t turn up. I think god wants to signal me to keep away from her. My insult that day was the first one and now this was the second one. Ok god, I got it.
SHE:
Valentine’s day is over but I couldn’t manage even to see him today. I thought today he might come to me and have a talk, but he didn’t. Even he is not traveling nowadays by the usual bus. Did he change home or worst the company itself?
Today all my teammates have gone out with their valentines and I am alone back home. That’s why I left the office early and came straight back to home. If that evening thing wouldn’t have
happened, probably today I would not have been alone. I think the fate doesn’t want us together. Probably so. Ok god, if this is what is intended for me, ok; I accept it, obviously I anyways don’t have any alternative, but still.
Date: 27-Feb
HE:
I was working in the night shift for the whole month so had to travel by cab rather than bus. I used to work from 4.00 p.m. to 2.30 a.m. so naturally I had lost contact with almost all people working in dayshift except for my teammates who would surrender the charge
to me while leaving for the day. For the whole month I didn’t travel by bus. Obviously didn’t see her. She works in the adjacent building only, but I don’t know where her cubicle is located exactly and anyways even if I would be knowing that, I don’t think I have that much guts to approach her.
For almost a month I didn’t see her, but I didn’t feel any desperation to see her. I was unbelievably aloof in this case. Was it the effect of that evening incidence?
Date: 28-Feb
HE:
Today, the office had planned to screen a movie in the campus. I had seen it but thought of enjoying it with friends in the open air. I took the permission for an hour from my boss and went for that. The dialogues were not much audible on the lawns, but it was fun to
watch the movie in an open air theatre like that. I was to leave the place to return to my cubicle and turned around when I saw her standing there just around 10 feet away from me.
I don’t know why but my heart started speeding a lot higher than even Michael Schumaker’s Ferrari. She just smiled at someone in the crowd at my back, tried her best not to look directly to me and just left the place. I stood there for a minute or two just wondering
what had happened.
Why did she smile? Did she feel good that I am still in the same company only or she didn’t even take notice of my presence and really smiled at someone in the crowd at my back? But we were so close that it was practically impossible for her to just ignore me.
SHE:
I saw him today, at the movie screening. Thank god he is still working with this company only. I thought of smiling at him and greeting him. I was so happy to see him, I wanted to ask him
where he was for so many days, whether he was not well, had he changed his house or was he using bike for the transport, but again I didn’t ask a single question. I stayed calm. I didn’t want
to embarrass him again.
I don’t know what I feel about him, but somehow whenever I see him, I do feel better. I hope he starts travelling by bus again. Everyday we can see each other in the morning and wish each other a very good morning without any words or smile but just with a plain look.
Date: 5-march
HE:
I resumed my normal duty today. It was good to see all those familiar faces once again after so many days. Of course my eyes were searching only one face out of that but still.
Just like my normal schedule, I got into the bus. She was sitting there with the same plain look on her face, nowhere even a single line of recognition, but when she saw me, her face reflected a small smile. It couldn’t escape my notice. Was she happy to see me back in
the bus? I don’t know about her, but I was definitely happy to see her.
SHE:
I was so happy, I tried my best to conceal my happiness but I felt like getting up from my seat and just sit beside him and talk, talk and just talk to him. Hey what’s this? What’s happening to me? I never felt like this for anyone. Is this just sympathy for that evening thing or is this love? No chance of it. I don’t believe in this love at first sight or so. We don’t know each other, we don’t know anything about each other, how can this be love? Probably just
infatuation… whatever it may be… I am loving this feeling very much.
DATE: 7-March
HE:
Today can be called as the luckiest day of my life. I talked to her face to face for the first time. Rajesh, my friend had some work in Nigdi today and was travelling by our bus and surprisingly he knew her well. They were college mates during the degree. He introduced us formally. I was so happy, that I just forgot that sometime back she just avoided sitting beside me. Everything in my brain, all my nervousness, and hatred for her as well as for my loser …all was just washed up.Now I can talk to her, I hope I can turn this chance to success. Oh god thanks a lot…
Rajesh was just like an angel sent by you.
SHE:
Thanks a lottt god…. I am so happy. Even he was. I could easily make that out from his face. It was just so bright. He still has feelings for me. Thank god, I thought after that day I kinda lost him, but no. Now we can talk to each other officially. No problem of who is first … we are friends now. God you are great.
Rajesh:
Today I was traveling with Niru, my project mate. Even my best friend in college was traveling by the same bus. It was a really pleasant surprise to see her after a couple of years or
so. I think my transfer to Pune will result in some good thing. She has become more beautiful than she was in our college days. Damn.. Why the hell did I neglect her in college when she had crush on me… I hope she is still single, not even committed or so. I would like simple girl like to get settled in life. Now I am well settled in job, should go forward with love matter also.
When I introduced Niru to her today, somehow her face lit up as if she was eager to have a word or two with him since many days. Niru’s condition was no different. Do they have something between them? I hope there is nothing of such sort. Oh God, thanks a lot that you
made me meet her, I hope you help me once again to make her mine. Please just keep Niru out of this.
GOD:
If you get only happiness then you don’t feel its value, do you? That’s why everything is planned in such a way that whenever you get happy you should understand its true value. I haven’t done anything special here. It’s all just happening as predefined.
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