Of course I felt that the photo looked familiar. Because this was not the first time I was seeing Geetha.

My mind went back to my college days. Particularly to one incident that happened six years back.

I was in the third year of my engineering. I had mastered the tricks of engineering education. Sleep all through the semester , take photocopies of some cheap book from a local author 3-4 days before the exams , skim through them the previous day of the exam and write some stories in the paper. This policy didn't fetch me great marks but it sure saved me from disappointments. I had lost interest in the system when I had got a paltry 50 - odd in one of my most favorite subjects while my friend had scored 80s in that subject after writing the story of the movie "Lagaan" during the exam.

But exams bothered me only occasionally. I lost sleep due another topic related to my college. Geetha.

We both had chosen the same engineering stream so we were in the same class. Since she had joined school earlier and me missing one of my school final exams due to typhoid, she was younger than me. I never talked to her much except during the times I had to talk to her during practicals.

She was a fairly popular personality in the college. She was very good in singing and used to win prizes in almost all college culturals. I usually go to all those culturals under the false context of taking part in some competition but end up losing all of them... I never minded that. My aim had always been to applaud her singing, congratulate on her winning and exult at her success as she accepts the prize in the podium with all modesty.

How much did I have to tell my self to snap out of her thoughts!!! But I couldn’t...

I tried to reason with my heart. I put forward points in front of my heart and used to list girls who were more beautiful, smarter and friendlier towards me and demanded explanation for this crazy fascination I had towards Geetha. My heart would smile back at my mind and would say "You will never understand, don't give me your equations, this is not maths!!!!"

I was going through this torture for a good part of three years. Torture!! What an understatement!!!

I had thought that it should be made mandatory, that all secret agents should have gone through love. Anybody who had gone through love can take any other torture this world has to offer.

I would have given anything to know whether I was in her heart. I was getting sick of imagining favorable interpretations for her simple activities.

I felt the sensation of being applied "Old spice"(after shave lotion) after getting shaved, when she talked to me. I didn't know whether to enjoy the chillness of her words or the exhilarating pain of my love.

I used to wait for that "golden glance” of hers everyday and used to rejoice all day by playing the glance again and again in my mind. Everyday was confusion as to whether she was an angel or the most beautiful witch born to torment me*

I went through thousand more thoughts like this. I was really longing to express my love.

BUT HOW????

The opportunity presented itself when we went to industrial visit to Ooty. Industrial visit???? Well.... It was just a fancy name we had given for our excursion.

After a brief visit to "Hindustan Photo films" to justify the "industriousness” of our visit we went to various other places of attraction including the "Botanical garden".

I had made up my mind to confess my love during this trip and was waiting for the right time. The chance presented itself during our visit to the botanical garden

There were 7 of us in our gang of close friends, three guys and four girls including myself and Geetha who stuck together as we visited the various places.

As we were roaming about in the garden, Geetha suddenly stopped. 'I can’t walk one more step from here on!!! You guys look around and come back. I will wait here"

"Hey come on!!!! We wont go all the distance, we will just see a few more places, also we can’t leave you alone here", one of our friends exclaimed as he looked around into the darkness that was setting in. I knew this was my chance. "Why don't you guys carry on?? Even I am fairly tired. I shall stay back with Geetha and we will wait for you guys".

Everyone seemed to like the idea. Soon we were left alone and we sat on the lush green grass.

After the initial chat about the trip I slowly gathered boldness.

"Geetha "

"Ya”, she was resting her head on her folded hands and was gently closing her eyes.

"I want to tell you something", I felt some non-existent block getting stuck in my throat. She raised her head and looked at me.

I cleared my throat... "I wanted to tell you this for a long time. Whatever it is please don't be angry on me"

She smiled gently. "Hey Kishore, your buildup is scary, you are talking as if....."

She stopped suddenly.

"As if.....” I enquired softly.

"As if... As if you are gonna propose to me or something!!!! ", she let out an uneasy laugh.

I didn't answer her.

She had guessed it!!!!

"You are right Geetha", I replied

"Right about what??” she was at her irritating best.

Why do these girls want everything to be spelled out perfectly?

"You are right Geetha..... I.... I am........."

I couldn't raise my tongue.

"I want to marry you Geetha, I want to make you part of my life"

I felt as if a huge 1000 ton container was removed from my heart. I was waiting for her reply.

She didn't answer for a while. I would have happy with that, had I known the words she uttered next.

"Whats wrong with you Kishore, have you gone mad (dy) or something???" I felt as if my eyes would pop out of my head as I tried to control my tears!!!

"I mean!! I thought you were a smart and decent guy!!! I........" She never spoke for a while.

“So you don't love me??” I couldn't believe I was asking this... The message was clear but I wanted the exact words from her mouth.

"Of course not!! Did I ever behave as if I was in love with you???" I felt as if my heart was beaten up by thousand goons.

"So you never felt love towards me?? Not even once?? Not even one instance????” I knew it was pathetic but I couldn't help asking her this.

"Oh kishore!!!! I am so sorry to say this. See I have a lot of respect and admiration towards you but love!!???

That is different... You can’t coerce love from someone. It should happen by itself. And I don't feel that towards you but........" She stopped as she saw our friends coming back.

We never talked about this after wards and I tried to avoid her as much as possible. Since I was an introvert by nature, nobody suspected anything.

I didn’t feel any grudge or remorse towards her and thought I would never see her for the rest of my life.

I was blankly looking at her as these past thoughts went in my mind. She didn't raise her head towards us and offered us coffee with her head bowed down.

"I won’t mind if you look at my son once in a while", my mom remarked with a smile.

All of burst into gentle laugh.

Geetha (???) looked at us as she smiled for the joke.

There seemed to be no change in her expression as her eyes shook hands with my eyes for a second.

My head was banged with a hundred thoughts. What's going on here??? Doesn't she realize that it’s me, Kishore?? Sure she must have found out about it. I was the one who agreed to meet the girl without having a second look at the photo but I was sure she must have recognized by my photo by looking at my educational qualifications (college). What is she thinking??

Has her mind changed and is she in love with me.....??

What crap!!!!! My mind was churning out ridiculous imaginations. Think she must have agreed just for the heck of it, without thinking much about it.

That was the stupid explanation my simple mind was able to come with.

So what am I supposed to do now??? Leave the place saying " sorry but the girl had rejected me once already!!!!??"

I felt the same way I felt when I was put into my first project. Not able to understand anything and just wishing it would end soon.

The girl's dad seemed to have noticed my confusion. "Why Mr.Kishore . Would you like to have a private conversation with Geetha??” he enquired.

"Huh???....... Hmm... Yeah yeah.. I mean... I was just thinking about that"

I couldn't tell him that I was planning to run out of there.

"Why don't we guys have a look at the terrace??? The breeze on the terrace is unbelievable. Let’s leave these people alone for while. Today's generation is a lot different from ours. They like to talk out everything in advance ", Geetha's dad was saying.

"You are right, also I was kinda eager to see your terrace anyway, ha ha!!”, so saying my dad got up from his seat.

Soon we were left alone.

Geetha looked as beautiful as I had always known her. She looked more mature than the college days and the girlish charm in her face had made way for the confidence and intelligence of a working woman. Ever since I saw her a few minutes back, I could hear "Rangeela*" beats played by the master percussionist "Drums sivamani" from my heart.

She was still looking at the floor and it looked like she thinking. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Here is a girl who taught me to enjoy beauty of the world. Who added colors to my world. The girl who made me realize the beauty of sunrise and regularity of the waves. The girl who made me notice lyrics in melodies and appreciate them. The girl who made me smile more when I was alone than when I was with some company. The one who gave me the most wonderful experience I went through. The one who gave me the most painful experience I can ever imagine. The girl who ignited the flames of love and who carried on with her normal life while I pained in the fire without getting burnt up.

The girl who didn't share the love in my heart and the one with whom fate has set up a meeting, the result of which could decide whether my life is shared with her!!!!

Given a choice I would still be ready to embrace her with my love and would cherish her for the rest of my life.

But.....

There was another thought that was dancing in the corner of my mind. I was laughing at the situation. I remembered when I had shamelessly confessed my love and was waiting impatiently for her reply. But now I am in her home and she is waiting for my decision!!! Or is she???? Does she have any other thoughts/plans???!!!

I suddenly remembered that I have to talk something. But what??

"Geetha".

"mmm??", she was still looking at the floor.

Whats with this false shyness anyway!!!!

"You know.....uh... I mean, you know that I am....."

"Don't be silly Kishore. Of course I recognize you ", she shot back.

The rapid fire reply was still intact.

"You knew it’s me and still you didn't say no about me coming here???" She looked at me for the first time. Those eyes!!!!!!!!!

"Why should I???” she retorted.

I was getting confused!!! Isn't this the same girl who didn't like me??? Who didn't love me?? So why doesn't she just say no without going through all this drama??

I was looking at her confused.

"It’s very simple Kishore. When you proposed to me five years back I was not in love with you. I know you are a kind and smart guy who will make a great husband and will make a perfect dad for my kids. But the situation now is not the same as we had in college. Now our association is happening with the complete guidance of our parents.

If it weren't for you there would be somebody else who would have come to see me. I would have to like him and try and love him after we get married. But now I have a chance to live with some one whom I have known and whom I have a deep respect.

And to tell you the truth. I had started loving you after you had proposed to me but I wasn't sure whether to tell you and was afraid about what our parents would say.

I suffered in silence and watched you helplessly as you tried to avoid me. I couldn't forget you and half heartedly accepted, when my parents wanted me to get married.

But when I saw your photo then I couldn't control my happiness. I was overjoyed when I learnt that you had accepted to come to our place. But you are talking to me as if you hadn't known it was me. I ....."

She stopped as she tried to calm herself.

Then she looked at me. There were tears in her eyes. "I want to marry you Kishore I want to be a part of your life" she hurriedly wiped her tears as we heard our parents coming down. I was dumbstruck. I couldn't think about anything. There was some conversation about me and Geetha hailing from the same college. But none of it was entering my ears.

After a while we had to leave. We had agreed that no matter what the decision is we wouldn't announce it in their home and would inform after reaching home and having a discussion among ourselves. So we left without saying anything and promised that we will get back to them. I was driving silently as my parents were talking loudly about how much they liked the girl.

"She was looking exactly like Mahalakshmi, think she would be perfect for our home", my mom remarked.